No-one will let me give up, despite being tired and pissed off.

So, I started this job in January, that’s 8 months, possibly a record? Well in recent times, yes.

However, this has taken me down a road which maybe at the start I wanted to go down, but now, I don’t think so. I am tired, I am angry and I really don’t like this job any more. So much of it has become paper pushing, except that paper is email and the email is basically asking someone else to do something because we contracted that out to them. Users ring us, but really we can’t do anything.

I’d like to give up, but then what would I do? Find another job? Well that would just be so much hassle of dealing with stupid recruiters who don’t know a thing about IT and are paid stupid amounts of money to find people for jobs. They are salespeople, they all wear expensive suits and would probably drive fast cars if they could.

Could I go back to my previous life of claiming benefit? Well technically I am still sick, my disability hasn’t gone away because I have a job. But who would sign me off to say I am sick? My GP was a complete wanker the last time I saw him and had all the sympathy of a blow-fly. So I doubt he is going to sign a sick note for me if I went in there and told him I had quit my job.

Then even if I did get back on to benefits I would have to endure all the crap from IDS and the DWP, and within 6 months I would probably be queuing up in the job centre trying to make it look like I was looking for jobs and struggling on JSA.

It’s not the fact that I have overspent or have higher overheads now that means I can’t go back to benefits. Heck, I would probably have more money because Housing Benefit would pay my rent. No, it’s because I have worked this long, so I am seen as being capable of working.

So basically I have two choices, keep working or die. Right now, I think I’ll choose the latter.

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